Working it Out
"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him"
Martin Luther
King, Jr.
It’s really not a nice
feeling or experience when you have an argument or disagreement with someone.
Well I certainly think so. Though really it is part of life, isn’t it? I do
believe, though, that when we have a disagreement we are pushing our attitude of,
‘I’m right and you’re wrong,’ and that this is usually the main reason why
disagreements or conflicts occur.
We can have
disagreements with a family member, a friend, a colleague at work or our
partner. Maybe you are experiencing a disagreement/conflict with someone right
now. I suppose the one quick fix to healing a disagreement is to say sorry,
right? I could be incorrect. However, for me sometimes sorry can mean nothing.
It’s just a word that can easily roll off the tongue. I’ve found with the
‘sorries’ that the issue is not really resolved and will soon raise its ugly
head in days or weeks to come. I suppose it all depends how serious the problem
was in the first place.
One practical method is
to talk things out, resolve the situation, have that two- way conversation.
That’s very easy for me to write yet I find it’s not that simple, especially
depending on the issue and person involved.
How often do we really truly listen? Are we not just sat there thinking of
what to say next? It’s human nature, after all, to defend ourselves. We put our
guards up, become defensive, fight and stand up for ourselves because we think we
are right and they are wrong.
I am a Fellow for the Clore 6 and during my six-month
course I was assigned a life coach. I must say the sessions have been
invaluable. To be given the opportunity to dig deep and explore my triggers
really gave me a good insight into my character. It has been a breath of fresh
air to share my true feelings with a total stranger. I did not at any point
feel judged. Oh how nice it was to just talk openly and not be interrupted! One
key model we explored was the Dramas and Winners Triangle. Even though the model is based around
depression, I feel it is suitable for anybody. I’m sure when you see the
triangle, you will relate to a role.
Just remember that every
disagreement or conflict we find ourselves in will always have something to
teach us about ourselves. We need to
stand up and take that R word – yes…Responsibility. And if the same issue keeps
arising over and over, then we have the power to make the necessary changes.
Youth Elements has
partnered with LEAP Conflict and will be delivering a one-day conflict resolution training session
on Thursday 13th July, in Manchester. Places cost £199.00 (set price)
and are limited. To book, please email me at amina@youthelements.org.uk or call: 0161 286 1566
Recommendations
Books worth reading:
How
to Deal With Difficult People: Ursula Markham
Now
or Never, Your Epic Life in 5 Steps: Alexi Panos &
Preston Smiles